Monday, January 27, 2014

The In-Between

Have you ever experienced the in-between? It's like being in a large building with many floors and existing only in the stairwell with no knowledge of what's behind any of the doors that you could possibly open. The other day, the director of the program I am interning at asked me what I plan to do once I finish my internship and graduate. I told him that I did not know because my original vision I had for what I was going to create with my education has slowly lost its life and expression in me and now I am in the in-between. The in-between...a place of insecurity and lack of direction. A place where I have many passions, a place where I can see so many populations who need support and help, a place where I can see so many injustices in the world around me, and a place where I have strong needs and desires for myself and my family as well. How do I know what direction to take? Maybe God is allowing me to stand back and see all the options so that I can choose who I want to invest my heart and my life in. Maybe the in-between is the deep breath, the calm before the storm. The storm being a new mission with new demands on my and my family's lives. Maybe this is time to re-group and be strengthened by God and the love of my family and friends. Honestly, I think that the in-between is a time for all of these wonderings but possibly more purposes than I am aware or can perceive. This makes me remember and smile about God. I am so glad that ultimately I do not have to worry about all the "why's" and the "what if's" and the "when's". He will take care of me. He knows my needs and has a mission for me. I must keep moving forward. I must keep praying, stay close to Him in relationship, and be faithful to my commitments. I must open every door until I open a door where something says "go in". I know God will lead me. He has never abandoned me in my struggles and I trust that He will be there in this one as He has been in the past.

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