I see people in pain all around me. I hear about the pain people are going through on the radio in different programs I listen to. Each time someone tells me their story or I hear a painful story somewhere I jump back to the memories of pain in my life and I can immediately feel that intense dark sunken hole of suffering, the intense hunt for escape, the feeling of being isolated from the rest of society that's seemingly functioning normally around me, and the conflict of which self to wear on the outside: the real me or "what I believe others need" me. And that's the problem of pain! It takes a lot of time, and mental and emotional space which is annoying and inopportune and well, painful! It challenges our sense of control. It's like, "I thought I was in control of me! Now I'm weeping and sad and angry and I feel vulnerable!" Vulnerable is not fun; not for anyone.
When I think back about my developmental years and early adulthood I can easily recall that I did not handle pain well. In fact, the problem of pain came to me at a young age through my family and the way it dysfunctioned. Loneliness, anger, fear and anxiety, believing I was a disappointment and lacking skills to communicate my feelings and needs made life very painful for me for many years actually. As the majority of people do, I started running from the problem of pain. First I ran to anger. That gave me a great place to hide for some time because I could relive events and get angry and vindicate myself by being a victim of the situation. Then when I had fed my anger long enough and caused it to grow, increasing my problem of pain, I ran to troubled friends. These friends were more than willing to encourage me towards deviance, sneaking, rebellion, and lying which increased my problem of pain even more and so I ran to drinking. Drinking and sneaking and lying were fun for awhile but then that even became monotonous. My pain resurfaced and had gained more strength due to my repression, suppression, and self-illusions. I ran even further to sex, drugs, and then to running for the sake of running. All of this just heaped the problem of pain with, you guessed it, more pain.
I reasoned that, maybe I could try being smart and a good person. So I got sober, went to college and tried to settle down. Strangely enough, I couldn't escape the problem of pain. Why was this thing following me?! Why wouldn't it leave me alone?! I just wanted to be like everyone else, fine, normal, anything but in pain. I continued running from pain to all my old favorites (denial, blaming, not accepting responsibility, numbing out, staying busy, get angry, over-thinking, over-controlling, unhealthy eating and spending, etc) and eventually my pursuit of escaping pain destroyed my relationships and my opportunities leaving me at rock bottom with no more excuses and no one to blame but me. It was then, when pain had its most powerful place in my life that God stepped into view.
He waited ever so quietly for me to see Him there, whispering so quietly, "come to me", that I barely heard Him. He began to say, "if you come and bring your pain to me I wont disappoint you. I can heal you Shannon. I've been waiting all this time for you". Needless to say, I did, come to Him that is and it took some years to heal all that repressed and suppressed pain and set right what had been broken by my family and then by myself in running from the problem of pain. In reflecting back on learning to endure pain, I realize that I used to blame myself for pain. Pain was the evidence that I was constitutionally flawed and weak. That I couldn't be trusted. That I had lost control. That I was an embarrassment and "should" be ashamed because I couldn't maintain composure. Pain meant I was a failure. With all that condemnation it is no wonder I didn't want to acknowledge and endure pain!
I think many people, many families experience pain in life in this way. It is never to be shown, spoken of, acknowledged, or have any time "wasted" on it. However, this only breeds the problem of pain. It reminds me of the children of Israel as they went into the wilderness seeking their homeland. They were lost out there 40 years because of the pain of their rebellion and the pain of their denial of their need to make it right with God. If they would have just stopped and said, "O.k., we were wrong. You were right. You are God and You know best. We will follow You", they could have saved many many years of wandering. But they instead ran from the problem of pain and delayed their deliverance, some never seeing it. Oh what we could do if we would just accept that God is tender, loving, compassionate, merciful, relents from sending calamity.... The thing is though, God's tenderness, love, compassion, mercy, and long suffering do not look/act like a human's! And we judge these characteristics and how they should play out in our lives through our ideas of them! We have got to get to know our God in order to trust His attributes and the way He administers them in and through us. It begins by stepping out on a limb and saying, "O.k., I don't know if I can trust you yet that You wont let this pain destroy me or humiliate me but I'm going to take a chance and see!" And then just allowing pain to be present and following Gods leading through it to the other side where I have always found a greater sense of peace, deeper connection with God, deeper maturity, deeper understanding about me and others and skills to improve relationships, a much greater sense of trust in God and how He works, a greater knowledge of myself and deeper confidence in who God has made me, more direction for choices, on and on. It's sticking with the pain until God brings the pain to completion through acceptance of the thing or things that we must know and learn and realize. Pain is only a problem because we make it a problem. The more we tolerate pain, the less we will begin to see pain as a problem. A baby is born out of great pain producing a great blessing! And when he or she arrives the pain is forgotten for the joy that they bring. So it is with spiritual birth. Out of some of our greatest pain in challenges, relationships, losses, and wounds come our greatest seasons of blessing and spiritual enrichment!
http://www.truthliveshere.net/
When I think back about my developmental years and early adulthood I can easily recall that I did not handle pain well. In fact, the problem of pain came to me at a young age through my family and the way it dysfunctioned. Loneliness, anger, fear and anxiety, believing I was a disappointment and lacking skills to communicate my feelings and needs made life very painful for me for many years actually. As the majority of people do, I started running from the problem of pain. First I ran to anger. That gave me a great place to hide for some time because I could relive events and get angry and vindicate myself by being a victim of the situation. Then when I had fed my anger long enough and caused it to grow, increasing my problem of pain, I ran to troubled friends. These friends were more than willing to encourage me towards deviance, sneaking, rebellion, and lying which increased my problem of pain even more and so I ran to drinking. Drinking and sneaking and lying were fun for awhile but then that even became monotonous. My pain resurfaced and had gained more strength due to my repression, suppression, and self-illusions. I ran even further to sex, drugs, and then to running for the sake of running. All of this just heaped the problem of pain with, you guessed it, more pain.
I reasoned that, maybe I could try being smart and a good person. So I got sober, went to college and tried to settle down. Strangely enough, I couldn't escape the problem of pain. Why was this thing following me?! Why wouldn't it leave me alone?! I just wanted to be like everyone else, fine, normal, anything but in pain. I continued running from pain to all my old favorites (denial, blaming, not accepting responsibility, numbing out, staying busy, get angry, over-thinking, over-controlling, unhealthy eating and spending, etc) and eventually my pursuit of escaping pain destroyed my relationships and my opportunities leaving me at rock bottom with no more excuses and no one to blame but me. It was then, when pain had its most powerful place in my life that God stepped into view.
He waited ever so quietly for me to see Him there, whispering so quietly, "come to me", that I barely heard Him. He began to say, "if you come and bring your pain to me I wont disappoint you. I can heal you Shannon. I've been waiting all this time for you". Needless to say, I did, come to Him that is and it took some years to heal all that repressed and suppressed pain and set right what had been broken by my family and then by myself in running from the problem of pain. In reflecting back on learning to endure pain, I realize that I used to blame myself for pain. Pain was the evidence that I was constitutionally flawed and weak. That I couldn't be trusted. That I had lost control. That I was an embarrassment and "should" be ashamed because I couldn't maintain composure. Pain meant I was a failure. With all that condemnation it is no wonder I didn't want to acknowledge and endure pain!
I think many people, many families experience pain in life in this way. It is never to be shown, spoken of, acknowledged, or have any time "wasted" on it. However, this only breeds the problem of pain. It reminds me of the children of Israel as they went into the wilderness seeking their homeland. They were lost out there 40 years because of the pain of their rebellion and the pain of their denial of their need to make it right with God. If they would have just stopped and said, "O.k., we were wrong. You were right. You are God and You know best. We will follow You", they could have saved many many years of wandering. But they instead ran from the problem of pain and delayed their deliverance, some never seeing it. Oh what we could do if we would just accept that God is tender, loving, compassionate, merciful, relents from sending calamity.... The thing is though, God's tenderness, love, compassion, mercy, and long suffering do not look/act like a human's! And we judge these characteristics and how they should play out in our lives through our ideas of them! We have got to get to know our God in order to trust His attributes and the way He administers them in and through us. It begins by stepping out on a limb and saying, "O.k., I don't know if I can trust you yet that You wont let this pain destroy me or humiliate me but I'm going to take a chance and see!" And then just allowing pain to be present and following Gods leading through it to the other side where I have always found a greater sense of peace, deeper connection with God, deeper maturity, deeper understanding about me and others and skills to improve relationships, a much greater sense of trust in God and how He works, a greater knowledge of myself and deeper confidence in who God has made me, more direction for choices, on and on. It's sticking with the pain until God brings the pain to completion through acceptance of the thing or things that we must know and learn and realize. Pain is only a problem because we make it a problem. The more we tolerate pain, the less we will begin to see pain as a problem. A baby is born out of great pain producing a great blessing! And when he or she arrives the pain is forgotten for the joy that they bring. So it is with spiritual birth. Out of some of our greatest pain in challenges, relationships, losses, and wounds come our greatest seasons of blessing and spiritual enrichment!
Hebrews 12New International Version (NIV)
12 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus [not our feelings or perspectives], the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow wearyand lose heart [God cares about our suffering].
God Disciplines His Children
4 In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood [Look to Jesus as our example]. 5 And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,
“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline [training],
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
6 because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”[a]
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
6 because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”[a]
7 Endure hardship as discipline [training]; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? 8 If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. 9 Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it [Maybe we didn't in my case]. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live!10 They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best [as best they knew how]; but God disciplines [trains] us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness.11 No discipline [training] seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
12 Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. 13 “Make level paths for your feet [this is where we make choices how we will respond to Him],”[b] so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.
Warning and Encouragement [training on how to treat one another]
14 Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy;without holiness no one will see the Lord. 15 See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. 16 See that no one is sexually immoral, or is godless like Esau, who for a single meal sold his inheritance rights as the oldest son. 17 Afterward, as you know, when he wanted to inherit this blessing, he was rejected. Even though he sought the blessing with tears, he could not change what he had done.
The Mountain of Fear and the Mountain of Joy [the power and purpose behind your ability to be trained!]
18 You have not come to a mountain that can be touched and that is burning with fire; to darkness, gloom and storm; 19 to a trumpet blastor to such a voice speaking words that those who heard it begged that no further word be spoken to them, 20 because they could not bear what was commanded: “If even an animal touches the mountain, it must be stoned to death.”[c] 21 The sight was so terrifying that Moses said, “I am trembling with fear.”[d]
22 But you have come to Mount Zion, to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem. You have come to thousands upon thousands of angels in joyful assembly, 23 to the church of the firstborn, whose names are written in heaven. You have come to God, the Judge of all,to the spirits of the righteous made perfect, 24 to Jesus the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel [hallelujah! There is therefore no more condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus! This means we can fail in the process and God is not shocked, moved, or disappointed! Get up, dust yourself off, fix your eyes back on Him and take the next step.].
25 See to it that you do not refuse him who speaks [listen for the voice of the Holy Spirit for direction and comfort]. If they did not escape when they refused him who warned them on earth, how much less will we, if we turn away from him who warns us from heaven? 26 At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, “Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens.”[e] 27 The words “once more” indicate the removing of what can be shaken—that is, created things—so that what cannot be shaken may remain.
28 Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken,let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, 29 for our “God is a consuming fire.” [He can meet any challenge, any size and win!] [f] http://www.truthliveshere.net/
