Recently the Holy Spirit has been speaking to me through some song lyrics. This is not odd for me as this happens everyday, however sometimes He speaks specifically to me about a subject and teaches me something much deeper. The songs are from a Christian artist named Tauren Wells. His songs Known and Hills and Valleys have some lyrics that have haunted me in some of my current circumstances.
"God, you give and take away...Father, you give and take away, Every joy and every pain..."
"And you call me out to pull me in..."
These are just some of the words, but go ahead and listen to the songs and search up the lyrics and read them for yourself. The Holy Spirit has been birthing something in me for quite a few months now. It has felt like its right in front of me but I cannot see it. I cannot grasp it. It has been intangible. I sense its presence and its finality. This is because my will was invested in MY WILL. But, these songs have rang in my mind, in my dreams, and in many of my waking hours. Yesterday, finally it all came togethor with two scriptures from Job 1:21 "...The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord" and from Genesis 22: 1-12, which I will only quote verse 12, "...now I know that you truly fear God. You have not withheld from me even your son, your only son."
Have you ever had something in your life, a circumstance, person, or thing that was being taken from you? Taken through seemingly earthly circumstances which you have tried and tried to fight but to no avail it just seems, taken? Well I sure have! Many things. Many people. Many intentions. Many goals. Many, many things that I posessed as gifts, comforts, feel goods, things that allow me to feel "normal" or even above "normal".
And I have always had this attitude about loss that if I am losing something, someone is to blame. Someone did something wrong--namely me! How impoverished I have become in so many circumstances attempting to resist "losing" stuff, people, and achievments. What a deception! I have not been losing it. It is being taken. And not because I am bad, wrong, or unworthy (necessarily). It is because it is the divine will of God. He is not being mean, cruel, angry, harsh, or any other negative judgment of God. It simply IS.
Maybe my obsessive desire to latch on to anything I am given thats good came from not having enough when I was young; enough love, money, food, cool clothes, attention, safety, etc. Thats entirely possible. Maybe my obsessive clinging to blessings is a part of my nature. That nature that is bound to my flesh and its will that is self-protective and self-exalting. I think thats also entirely possible. Maybe, its just the way I think. Maybe its just the way my mind perceives loss that motivates me to compulsively hang on to my blessings. That is also entirely possible! My gut tells me it is a combination of the three!
God gives many blessings, such as: good health, strength, life, love, relationships, marriage, children, success, posessions, pets, family, friends, businesses, jobs, cars, titles, authority, strengths, gifts/talents, vision, opportuniites, etc. What makes us believe that once we have these blessings that we will not be asked to hand them over? And maybe even right away after they are handed to us! God takes, anything He chooses for any reason that He chooses! I am not saying we should give up without any fight, but if the fight becomes the new norm (insanity) then maybe, we are fighting God Himself!
Sometimes God takes directly. Other times God allows Satan and his henchmen to take from us. Even more God allows our sin, choices, and even the sin of others to take from us what He has ordained to be taken. And when He takes, how do we perceive it and respond?
- Get angry and stubborn? Even unyielding?
- Depressed and victimized? Powerless?
- Focused, solutionizing, controlling, perfect execution?
- Afraid, walking on spiritual eggshells? Gods a meany?
- Manipulative, strategizing, making deals, being perfect?
And all to keep what we have. When surrendering to God is so much easier, so much less heartache, less wasted time, less fighting, and less frustration. We will even tell ourselves lies about God and His motivations/intentions so that we can keep believing that we havent already lost what is standing right there staring us in the face! ACCEPTANCE. Acceptance, is the key. Otherwise it will be a lifetime of searching, blaming, and solution attempts.
Then there is the post acceptance sitting still. Waiting in the acceptance that, "God took." Now, I wait to hear what He will say is the next response, idea, attitude, and action.
How good are you at letting God take from you? Especially the things that you posess that supply your ego with power, importance, comfort, and feel goods. Are you watching the taking of something or someone in your life? If God wants you to fight, then fight! But if God is saying let go then it is time to ACCEPT, God gave and God takes away. For whatever reason He had. Blessed be the name of the Lord!