God Takes.

     
     Recently the Holy Spirit has been speaking to me through some song lyrics.  This is not odd for me as this happens everyday, however sometimes He speaks specifically to me about a subject and teaches me something much deeper.  The songs are from a Christian artist named Tauren Wells.  His songs Known and Hills and Valleys have some lyrics that have haunted me in some of my current circumstances. 
https://youtu.be/gbQ6Lfh5L14   https://youtu.be/p4rRCjrAyCs 

"God, you give and take away...Father, you give and take away, Every joy and every pain..."

"And you call me out to pull me in..."

     These are just some of the words, but go ahead and listen to the songs and search up the lyrics and read them for yourself.  The Holy Spirit has been birthing something in me for quite a few months now.  It has felt like its right in front of me but I cannot see it.  I cannot grasp it.  It has been intangible.  I sense its presence and its finality.  This is because my will was invested in MY WILL.  But, these songs have rang in my mind, in my dreams, and in many of my waking hours.  Yesterday, finally it all came togethor with two scriptures from Job 1:21 "...The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord" and from Genesis 22: 1-12, which I will only quote verse 12, "...now I know that you truly fear God. You have not withheld from me even your son, your only son."

     Have you ever had something in your life, a circumstance, person, or thing that was being taken from you? Taken through seemingly earthly circumstances which you have tried and tried to fight but to no avail it just seems, taken? Well I sure have!  Many things. Many people. Many intentions. Many goals. Many, many things that I posessed as gifts, comforts, feel goods, things that allow me to feel "normal" or even above "normal".  

     And I have always had this attitude about loss that if I am losing something, someone is to blame.  Someone did something wrong--namely me!  How impoverished I have become in so many circumstances attempting to resist "losing" stuff, people, and achievments.  What a deception! I have not been losing it.  It is being taken.  And not because I am bad, wrong, or unworthy (necessarily).  It is because it is the divine will of God.  He is not being mean, cruel, angry, harsh, or any other negative judgment of God.  It simply IS.

     Maybe my obsessive desire to latch on to anything I am given thats good came from not having enough when I was young; enough love, money, food, cool clothes, attention, safety, etc. Thats entirely possible.  Maybe my obsessive clinging to blessings is a part of my nature.  That nature that is bound to my flesh and its will that is self-protective and self-exalting.  I think thats also entirely possible.  Maybe, its just the way I think.  Maybe its just the way my mind perceives loss that motivates me to compulsively hang on to my blessings.  That is also entirely possible! My gut tells me it is a combination of the three!

     God gives many blessings, such as: good health, strength, life, love, relationships, marriage, children, success, posessions, pets, family, friends, businesses, jobs, cars, titles, authority, strengths, gifts/talents, vision, opportuniites, etc.  What makes us believe that once we have these blessings that we will not be asked to hand them over?  And maybe even right away after they are handed to us!  God takes, anything He chooses for any reason that He chooses!  I am not saying we should give up without any fight, but if the fight becomes the new norm (insanity) then maybe, we are fighting God Himself!

     Sometimes God takes directly.  Other times God allows Satan and his henchmen to take from us. Even more God allows our sin, choices, and even the sin of others to take from us what He has ordained to be taken.  And when He takes, how do we perceive it and respond?

• Get angry and stubborn? Even unyielding?

• Depressed and victimized? Powerless?

• Focused, solutionizing, controlling, perfect execution?

• Afraid, walking on spiritual eggshells? Gods a meany?

• Manipulative, strategizing, making deals, being perfect?

     And all to keep what we have.  When surrendering to God is so much easier, so much less heartache, less wasted time, less fighting, and less frustration.  We will even tell ourselves lies about God and His motivations/intentions so that we can keep believing that we havent already lost what is standing right there staring us in the face!  ACCEPTANCE.  Acceptance, is the key.  Otherwise it will be a lifetime of searching, blaming, and solution attempts.

     Then there is the post acceptance sitting still. Waiting in the acceptance that, "God took."  Now, I wait to hear what He will say is the next response, idea, attitude, and action.

     How good are you at letting God take from you?  Especially the things that you posess that supply your ego with power, importance, comfort, and feel goods.  Are you watching the taking of something or someone in your life?  If God wants you to fight, then fight!  But if God is saying let go then it is time to ACCEPT, God gave and God takes away.  For whatever reason He had.  Blessed be the name of the Lord!  

Do the 12 steps lead a person to a specific religion?

The quick answer to that question is no. The 12 steps are a spiritual program developed through Bill W and others’ own experiences of being in the grip of alcoholism. Bill W. was not the first, but was himself the beneficiary of another recovering alcoholic’s testimony of the power of working a spiritual program for recovery from alcohol. Bill W. explained in the Big Book that before recovery he was not an atheist and did not believe many people really were. It was his assertion that atheistic belief would mean, “...blind faith in the strange proposition that this universe originated in a cipher and aimlessly rushes nowhere (Big Book, 2001, p.10). In fact, his scientific heroes of the time even “...suggested vast laws and forces at work....I had little doubt that a mighty purpose and rhythm underlay all. How could there be so much of precise and immutable law, and no intelligence? I simply had to believe in a Spirit of the Universe, who knew neither time nor limitation” (Big Book, 2001, p. 10).

The 12 steps of recovery

You see the 12 steps of recovery have one goal in mind: to bring those who become entirely willing to obediently choose honesty and humility 24 hours a day to a spiritual awakening not just once but again and again, each and every day that the steps and relationship with a power greater than themselves are practiced and applied through faith. Not blind faith, but faith that the steps combined with power from our higher power sought out in prayer and meditation consistently and daily WILL produce sobriety for sure! Then on top of sobriety the steps will build strength, endurance, hope, direction, maturity, self-control, the power to deny destructive selfishness, openness, community, belonging, accountability, self-respect, freedom through the gift of forgiveness, the reordering of behavioral choices, inner peace, mental clarity, joy in living and pleasure in serving others.

            Bill W. taught that he had a sort of profound awakening in which past memories aligned with the present testimony that was being shared with him such that God was able to remove his unwillingness to believe in a power greater than himself. The question from his friend, “Why don’t you choose your own conception of God?” (Big Book, 2001, p. 12), led to the realization, “It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning” (Big Book, 2001, p. 12). 

Freedom in the 12 steps

You see, in the 12 steps there is a beautiful freedom given to each participant. Come as you are, where you are, and know that if you will acknowledge where your beliefs stand today and obediently and fully commit to working the steps that the God of your understanding will bring you to the faith you need to live the program successfully. This was called moral psychology by William D. Silkworth, M.D.; a doctor who worked with many alcoholics and whose writing is included in the Big Book. In Silkworth’s experience, alcoholism was a death sentence of sorts. He had not witnessed successful life change or recovery until he witnessed Bill W. share his story and his steps with those in the then institution for alcoholics. What Silkworth reports is that through what he terms “moral psychology”, Bill W. and the men he led out of alcoholism were able to achieve “unselfishness...the entire absence of profit motive...community spirit...[belief] in themselves, and still more in the Power which pulls chronic alcoholics back from the gates of death” (Big Book, 2001, p. xxvii).

            Dr. Silkworth had been convinced that emotionalism, merely focusing on behavioral band aids, or psychological tricks was not enough to help alcoholics. He said, the approach had to have, “depth and weight” (Big Book, 2001, p. xxviii). Silkworth testified of his own experiences of powerlessness when faced with healing an alcoholic and how he innately felt deep down that there had to be a power greater than the alcoholic sickness to heal it because human medicine/psychiatry had no cure. This has also been my clinical and personal experience with addicts of all kinds. This includes anyone that has a compulsive pattern, an addictive cycle, a “bad habit” they seemingly cannot overcome and it is bringing any level of brokenness into their life, their relationships, or their social/vocational functioning. The experience of powerlessness when attempting to help the mastered is quite profound. It is not until I, even I, surrender control of the healing to my higher power can I be of any assistance to my broken client. Many people, many addicts, are skeptics of the 12 steps and its programming. If that person is reading this, in the Silkworth tradition, I would encourage you to read the AA Big Book front to back, slowly and carefully with your ears open to hear and receive.  As Silkworth said, “perhaps [you’ve come] to scoff, [but you] may remain to pray” (Big Book, 2001, p. xxxii). The 12 steps will not lead you to a certain religion but they will lead you to a relationship; a relationship with a Power greater than yourself that is the power you need to change your life for the better.                       

Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. Big Book. NY: Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.,         2001.                      

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